“Well, it seems everyone’s here that responded to the newsletter we sent out, posted as we always do, in five separate pieces scattered among secret government mainframes.
My everyday name to the outside world is Frank Honeycut, but some of you might better recognize me as Magikill_Skeletonicon. That is a name from my previous free-wheeling existence, before I chose to shed the shackles of my hi-tech exile. I was always plugging in but really missing out on the simplest joys in life…and I don’t think I’m alone in this, especially with those guilty looks I’m imagining roughly three of you are giving me right now underneath those wooden smiles.
And I’ve heard all the reasons why you’re seeking out our services, ‘I may have hurt lots of innocent lives while hacking into the lives of others’, ’protesting in the streets has begun to take its toll on me’, ‘Uh…I thought this was just an ironically-named meetup to talk about that Vendetta flick.’ And yes, these are all equally good reasons to be here.
The fact remains that with everyone’s help, we can solve the problems inside your head without ever having to show off your faces.
Unless of course, everyone agrees to take their masks off.
No….okay then, masks stays on.»